At last a dencent school photo!

Could have brushed her hair though!

Disheartened Today

Ana has decided to pull off most of her right eyebrow this morning causing it to bleed profusely.

Thankfully we managed to stop the bleeding before transport turned up this morning. I think she may have done it because she didn't get her hour of computer time last night for misbehaving.

She has also been pinching her own arms causing huge nasty dark purples bruises.

It gets very upsetting, she has such a lovely pretty face yet most of her self harming is centered around her face. I have school photos of her where she has scratched off most of the skin on her forehead or she as chewed and sucked her lips until the surrounding skin is red raw.

Ever feel like you're in a sinking ship and all you have a bail out with is a sieve?

Those amusing home - school diary comments

Today's comment:

'Ana has been having some 'little' (read that as nuclear reactions) temper tantrums and arguments with us about particular toys she wants to play with (before her work is done).

She also keeps tripping herself up on purpose and walking around on her knees in class. I have spoken to her several times and tried to explain why this is not appropriate or safe.

Is she like this at home?'

My reply:

'Oh goodness, yes!

It drives us to distraction. Until now we thought that this was an activity reserved for home.

As yet we haven't come across and effective way to stop the behaviour without causing it to escalate. I have also tried to explain that flopping around the house like a fish out of water and scooting around the house on her knees is not safe at the best of times nor an effective form of transportation.

Any attempt to talk to Ana about the above is met by her sliding off the sofa onto the floor.

This has only started recently and at first I put it down to the poor weather and increased boredom. But now I believe we may be deep within the throws of teenage tantrums.'

Honestly some days I only have to open my mouth to speak to Ana and she goes silly!

Shoes!

I really should update this blog more often. I started it as an escapism, a place to go when the difficulties of raising and autistic child become too much. I suppose it's those same difficulties that have been preventing me from updating as much as I would like.

Anyway, on to the real reason I am writing this post.................

Shoes, yes shoes.

Yesterday Ana came home from school in another (yes I did say another) pair of ruined shoes. The soles had been ripped from the shoes and now slapped about as she walked around in the hallway of our home. This wasn't a simple case of the soles becoming unglued or a case of shoddy workmanship. No they have been torn away with such force that the mind only boggles at the activity she could have been doing at school to cause such wanton destruction.

The mind also boggles how Ana managed to get through a day at school and then come home on her transport and no one noticed the state of her shoes. Or perhaps they did, but didn't think it warranted my attention.

When I pressed Ana as to what she was actually doing at the precise moment her soles became detached from the rest of her shoe, the answer put forth was. 'I don't know, I can't remember.'

I know there are some mysteries of the autistic mind that I will never understand, but I would have thought the soles being ripped from your shoes wouldn't have gone unnoticed during your day.

Anyway, I have since purchased the third pair of shoes for this term alone and they will be given, along with the warning. 'Ruin these and you shall go to school with black bin liners on your feet!'

I don't hold out much hope, that way I am rarely disappointed.

Hip, hip hooray, it's back to school today!

Today Ana went back to school. *listens* *Sound of crickets chirping* It's it wonderful? Anyway I took some pictures of her today all smart in her uniform waiting to go. She won't look like that when she gets home though.

To say that these past summer holidays have been difficult has been an understatement. The combinations of poor weather, little to do and raging hormones (Ana's not mine) have left me wanting to tear my hair out. I can only hope that next year will be better or that soundproof children's cages become available on the NHS.



























Of course not to be out done Amy had to get in on the act too.

Tamagotchi Invasion

I am actually amazed at the amount of time Ana is spending playing with her new Tamagotchi family. I cannot see the what all the fuss is really. Still the peace and quiet is nice while it lasts.

Sometimes I hate being the parent of a special needs child

And I don't care who knows or what they think of me.

I am sick and tired of all the tantrums, of being terrified of saying something that will set of the next big melt down. Innocent sentences such as , 'Could you please put some knickers on?' and, 'Can you tidy your bedroom?' I spend and ex ordinate amount of time walking around on eggshells

I get fed up of of being stuck in the middle of people on opposing sides. I really don't care how you would manage that particular scenario better or that a damn good smack will sort her out, because it won't. I know, I've tried!

I am forever doomed to spend my life washing pooped in clothes, or wiping bottom of a 10 year old. Will I still be doing this when she is 20?

Everything has to be arranged round Ana and her condition always having to make extra concessions and arrangements for her. I am unable to say 'sod it all, why don't we just go out somewhere nice today,' without planning of military precision

I am loath of all the stares and questions. This is not what I had in mind when I decided to have a baby!

Why is it the summer holidays seem to last forever?